Yesterday I made the immature mistake of posting some of my feelings about step parenthood on facebook. I only intended to express shock upon discovering that step parents have no legal rights at all. None. I would have thought that they would at least share some of the rights possessed by their spouse, but no. I am a "legal stranger" to my children. One of my friends wanted to talk about that a bit and I guess I ended up sharing more then I intended to.
My mother in law went off on me. She told me that they are not my kids, I am NOT their parent, that I am a lier and angry and that it is not my place to try to parent the children at all. Not even in my home. She said that they have good parents and I am not one of them, I should not try to be one of them, I should just be their friend and if I back of I MIGHT be a good Emmie. Emmie.... M E. The name that they chose to give me which they made sure the children know means MISS ELSE, as if I was still a stranger.
My mother in Law then decided to call up my husbands ex and tell her everything I said to upset her. So when my husband called to talk to his kids he got yelled at about how I am trying to take over and how I am lying and messing everything up
I am getting so tired. I love my kids. I want to be in their lives so much, but if I try to be I am told I am hurting people and being wrong. If I try to give space then I am not being loving. I cant stand back and just let my husband raise children with someone else, I am a part of this marriage and need to be involved with HIS kids. There were so many hurtful things being thrown around. Like how maybe I am just bitter because we have been trying to have a baby and cant so far, and she has three with him. Like how a Bio mom is an insult. I am a bio mom. I had a baby and chose to give him to a good family. and now since I called Crystal a bio mom while talking to my friend (simply to not use her name, and to have a verbal difference between mom and emmie) I got yelled at about how a bio mom is just an egg doner and how what Crystal is is a MOM.
I have 4 kids and apparently I cannot claim a single one. With my son I am just an "egg donor" and therefore irrelevant, and with my step children I am not a parent and should settle with being friendly and back off. I cant not care what they are doing. I cant not care about them. and I cant be just half a mom.
I am getting depressed and no longer want anything to do with anyone. I cant talk to my husband about his mother, his ex, or the kids. I dont want to talk to his mother about anything ever again. If I talk to my friends to get support and vent then I am being evil and vicious. I am to the point that I almost would let go of the kids if it ment getting rid of all these other people in my life. No. Not that far. I dont want "Nonnie" to be involved with my baby though. I am not going to allow her to impose herself on my child like this.
